Page 14 of 22

Re: Jokes

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2015 5:41 pm
by Ivor
Image

Rebel Bass

Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 7:02 pm
by Derek
Rebel Bass
Image

Re: Jokes

Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2015 11:08 pm
by Rocker
Just the present to get your child when they start to play electric guitar:

Image

Order now, to avoid the Christmas rush.......

Tuesday Two

Posted: Tue Apr 21, 2015 7:23 pm
by Derek
Last night I reached for my liquid viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Tippex.
I woke this morning with a huge correction.


My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60's group The Monkees.
I thought she was joking ........ and then I saw her face!

Re: Jokes

Posted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 6:12 pm
by tony
Corny but Cool Derek!

Re: Jokes

Posted: Fri May 01, 2015 9:30 pm
by Rocker
Famous baseball player Yogi Berra explains jazz.

Interviewer: Can you explain jazz?

Yogi: I can't, but I will. 90% of all jazz is half improvisation. The other half is the part people play while others are playing something they never played with anyone who played that part. So if you play the wrong part, it's right. If you play the right part, it might be right if you play it wrong enough. But if you play it too right, it's wrong.

Interviewer: I don't understand.

Yogi: Anyone who understands jazz knows that you can't understand it. It's too complicated. That's what's so simple about it.

Interviewer: Do you understand it?

Yogi: No. That's why I can explain it. If I understood it, I wouldn't know anything about it.

Interviewer: Are there any great jazz players alive today?

Yogi: No. All the great jazz players alive today are dead. Except for the ones that are still alive. But so many of them are dead, that the ones that are still alive are dying to be like the ones that are dead. Some would kill for it.

Interviewer: What is syncopation?

Yogi: That's when the note that you should hear now happens either before or after you hear it. In jazz, you don't hear notes when they happen because that would be some other type of music. Other types of music can be jazz, but only if they're the same as something different from those other kinds.

Interviewer: Now I really don't understand.

Yogi: I haven't taught you enough for you to not understand jazz that well.

Re: Jokes

Posted: Sat May 02, 2015 8:05 am
by Derek
Brilliant
I think I had him for Science class!

Re: Jokes

Posted: Sat May 02, 2015 8:16 am
by fergus
Excellent!

Re: Jokes

Posted: Sun May 03, 2015 7:54 pm
by Seán
Rocker wrote:Famous baseball player Yogi Berra explains jazz.

Interviewer: Can you explain jazz?

Yogi: I can't, but I will. 90% of all jazz is half improvisation. The other half is the part people play while others are playing something they never played with anyone who played that part. So if you play the wrong part, it's right. If you play the right part, it might be right if you play it wrong enough. But if you play it too right, it's wrong.

Interviewer: I don't understand.

Yogi: Anyone who understands jazz knows that you can't understand it. It's too complicated. That's what's so simple about it.

Interviewer: Do you understand it?

Yogi: No. That's why I can explain it. If I understood it, I wouldn't know anything about it.

Interviewer: Are there any great jazz players alive today?

Yogi: No. All the great jazz players alive today are dead. Except for the ones that are still alive. But so many of them are dead, that the ones that are still alive are dying to be like the ones that are dead. Some would kill for it.

Interviewer: What is syncopation?

Yogi: That's when the note that you should hear now happens either before or after you hear it. In jazz, you don't hear notes when they happen because that would be some other type of music. Other types of music can be jazz, but only if they're the same as something different from those other kinds.

Interviewer: Now I really don't understand.

Yogi: I haven't taught you enough for you to not understand jazz that well.
Now that is SPLENDID!

Re: Jokes

Posted: Tue May 19, 2015 1:01 pm
by Ivor
Image